please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize