I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
