Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
