All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
