I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
