Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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