The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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