the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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