wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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