It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
3 2 1 whiskey
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
