I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
