Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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