SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
