I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
