i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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