I will die if light touches me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
