Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
