I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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