You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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