that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
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It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
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This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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