how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
