Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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