She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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