Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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