Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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