I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You ruined the universe
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
