Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
