got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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