At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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