What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
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Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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