my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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