Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
