The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
