We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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