And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
