Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
