I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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