fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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