His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
