Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
