is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
