You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
being pregnant is like rehab
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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