He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
