it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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