I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
