There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize