if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
