I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
