HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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