I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
