Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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