I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
