my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
