she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
