Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
