You're so nebulous sometimes
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
