My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
